An update on my kids.  Took my 2 yr. old to the ENT doctor this past Thursday. Sure enough, the doctor totally agreed that she should have been referred up there weeks ago.  She has a 25% hearing loss (fluid related).  I have scheduled her to have her adenoids out and ear tubes put in on March 17th. So hoping this will give us all some relief.  Today, I took my 4 yr. old to have her hearing checked b/c I've been noticing that she is not paying attention as well, I have to keep repeating instructions, and she is sitting closer to the tv these days.....her preschool teachers have also commented that she has not been following directions as well the last couple of months.  Anyway, she was SO good for her hearing test.....turns out she has a 20% hearing loss right now.....we think it may be fluid related.  So, she has an appt. with her pediatrician this afternoon.....he may refer her to an ENT.  Good grief.....it appears that I produce children with defective ears....considering that my 6 year old had major problems w/ fluid and was practically deaf by the time he got tubes.  Just want to get all of this medical stuff under control.  Oh...and I have an ENT appt. tomorrow!  Ridiculous!!  Wish me well.  Talk to y'all soon.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Week #2 Weigh-in...Friday, March 5, 2010.  YEA!  Lost 2 pounds this week. That brings my weight to 198 pounds.  I was so excited to see my progress yesterday.  Gotta run, but I'll post more soon.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Hey everyone.  Forgot to post on Monday that March 1st was my SIX month SF anniversary!!  I can NOT believe I have been on this journey for 6 whole months.  For half a year, I have been treating my body with more respect.  It's a great feeling.  This week is going well...I think I should post a loss tomorrow!  I am taking my 2 yr. old to her ENT appt. today.  Plan on having Chick-Fil-A for dinner.......so, I am only having 2 shakes today so I can save my calories and enjoy my treat for dinner....going to check on the calorie info for what I plan to eat before I go so I can make any needed adjustments.  Hope you are all having a wonderful week.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Ok, so...I'm still dealing with a sick child.  My 2 yr. old has been ill for a solid 4 weeks now.  Thankfully, she has an ENT appt. on Thursday...I am SO praying for some majorly good news...like "we need to give your daughter ear tubes ASAP!"  I am so worn out...it stinks watching your child suffer...especially for this long.

Anyway, I am doing so-so on my plan. I really do feel like I'm in "maintain" mode right now.  I guess I should be thankful that I have actually acquired the skills necessary to maintain my weight instead of gain like crazy.  Gotta run guys...supper's almost ready.

Weigh-In #1...Fatbook Day 169...Week 25....Friday, Feb. 26.  Well.....I had a big old NO LOSS kinda week.  200 pounds....my body must REALLY like this weight.  But, I know that next week will bring better results, so I'm sticking with it.  I'll try to get on here some this weekend.  Still dealing with sick kids...and I feel like I may be coming down with something, too.  I am SOOO ready for Spring!!  Love you guys.  God Bless  ~~ Hilary

Day 165....Monday, Feb. 22, 2010.  First of all, I just want to thank you for all your kind comments.  My 2 yr. old appears to be feeling somewhat better. She's not running fever anymore as of yesterday.  I have an Ear, Nose, Throat Doctor appt. for her on March 4.....tired of jacking around with her pediatrician.  I have also been dealing with a sick 4 yr. old since last Wednesday.  She's been running fever and complaining of a sore throat.  I have been trying to wait it out since I'm kind of gun shy about taking the kids to the pediatrician right now.  But, I'm afraid I'm going to have to break down and take her....afterall, she had strep throat a couple of weeks ago....guess I need to make sure it's not back. 

I enjoy taking care of my children when they're sick, but it does take its toll.  I feel worn down, both physically and mentally.  I want to blame some of my bad choices on the stress I've been living with lately.......but, I really AM tired of making excuses for myself.  It gets pretty old trying to justify my weaknesses all the time.  It is what it is.  There will ALWAYS be stressful situations in this life.  We can either deal with our stress or try to avoid it.  One of my favorite ways to distract myself from uncomfortable feelings is to eat.  Fill my face.  The problem with that is that it is just a stall tactic.  The problems are still there when my stomach is full.  Only, I have more problems to deal with at that point.......weight gain, diminished health & energy, poor self esteem, self hate.  You all know the drill.

The question is....WHAT am I going to do about it ?!  I have been thinking all weekend about my journey....and as you can tell, I am NOT satisfied with how things are going right now.  Since it is no one's fault but my own, I am the one who is responsible for solving the problem.  So, I have made a decision.  I am going back to square one.  I am changing my ticker to ZERO pounds lost.  My new start weight will be 200 lbs.......goodness knows I've been hovering around that weight for long enough!  I feel like I need this motivation right now.  For the last couple of months, it has just been too easy to soothe my guilt by telling myself "It's alright, Hilary. Afterall, look how far you've come. You've lost 40 POUNDS!!"   And, in part, that is true.  I have come a long way from where I started.  But, 40 pounds is not even halfway there.  I will never be satisfied with weighing 200 pounds.  Yeah...it's great that I've lost so much weight....but not so great that I can just stop where I am.  So, I am restarting on the SlimFast plan.  Let's see how many NEW pounds I can rack up on my ticker!  I'm excited!  God Bless you, Friends ~~ Hilary

Weigh-In #24....Fatbook:  Day 162....Friday, Feb. 19, 2010.  Gained ONE pound. That's right...I'm back up to 200. Hoping it was just water weight from THAT time of the month....but, to be honest, I have not done great this past week.  I gave in to many of my PMS urges...so, I guess I got what I deserve.  But, I am not defeated!  I have a plan....I'll share it in my next post.  God Bless you all ~~ Hilary

Day 159...Tuesday, Feb. 16, 2010.  My eating is going well so far this week. Need to pay more attention to my water, though. It is THAT time of the month, so I'm dealing with the usual annoying water weight...hoping the bloating goes down by weigh-in on Friday.  I am kinda stressed right now. My 2 yr. old daughter has been sick constantly for the last 3 weeks.  She had Strep/Scarlet Fever....developed an ear infection a few days later....still isn't feeling well.  Took her to the doctor yesterday for the 3rd time in 3 weeks after finding the inside of her ear crusted w/ blood.  I thought that maybe her eardrum burst....she has had multiple ear infections the last several months. The doctor said she's fine.  HOWEVER....she has been super cranky again today...just took her temp before her nap.....102 degrees.  Oh yeah...she's JUST fine!  Anyway, I am very frustrated.  I feel so bad that I haven't been able to help her.  She is losing weight b/c I can't hardly get her to eat anything.  Sorry to vent on you guys...I'm just feeling really upset right now.  Hope you're all having a good week.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Weigh-in #23.....Fatbook Day: 155....February 12, 2010.   I was very happy to hang onto my one pound loss that I posted this past Sunday for SisterC's challenge.  So, YES, I am still in ONEderland.......weighed in at 199.  I'm a "little" bummed that I didn't get to report an even lower weight...b/c yesterday I was at 198....but, my time of the month is approaching in a couple of days, so it's probably bloating.  Anyway...I am feeling really pumped about my plan right now.  Getting below 200 was just what I needed to re-motivate me.

This evening, my husband and I have a date night.  I'm looking forward to it. There for awhile, we were trying to do two a month...but, when we lost our sitter, it made it hard to do.  We haven't had a date in probably at least 2 months.  And, turns out we may get to have another one tomorrow night. So, I am going to be eating light during the next couple of days so I can enjoy my dinners out.  He and I have never been big into Valentines Day, but we try to exchange cards and do a little something special.  I'll make him some heart-shaped frosted sugar cookies....I like to make them every year b/c they're his favorite.  They are a bit of a pain to make, but I don't really mind b/c the BEST thing about them is that they do not tempt me at all.  Seriously...if it's not chocolate, it's really not worth the calories.  :)  So, I guess I'd better go get busy.  Hope y'all have had a good week.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Day 152....Tuesday, Feb. 9, 2010.  Well, it was a pretty good day. Started out a little rough b/c my son was out of school for a snow day. I made a special pancake breakfast....dumb. Didn't end up resisting the coconut, choc. chip, butterscotch chip pancakes. But, I ate 2 medium ones....before SF, I would have had 3 large.  And, I didn't use syrup.  Still, not a victory. But, I made up for it by going super light on lunch and afternoon snack.  Had spaghetti & meatballs for dinner.....it was very tasty....and I kept my portion quite reasonable.  So, overall, I am not too disappointed by myself.  I started out bad, but managed to recover. 

I didn't post Monday b/c I was dealing with a sick child. Turns out that my 2 yr. old managed to develop an ear infection while taking the antibiotic she had been prescribed last week for strep. Had to take her to the doctor Monday night.  Poor thing...she had been constantly sick since the Monday before...never got any relief.  But, she's feeling quite a bit better now after switching to a different antibiotic.  Can't really remember, but I think I did alright on my plan Monday...didn't have a gain yesterday, so I guess I'm ok.  Hope y'all are having a pleasant week.  God Bless ~~ HIlary

Day 150....Sunday, Feb. 7, 2010.  Well, as you probably know by now, I posted my "Double-Dog Dare You" weight.  And, YES...I am now in ONEderland!  I am so excited to be under 200 pounds...and it happened on my 150th day on the plan.  How exciting!  I will admit, though, that I am a bit nervous.  I mean, I'm at 199...wouldn't take much to tip the scales back up to 200.  BUT, I am feeling very positive about my journey.  This challenge was just what I needed to get myself working the plan again.  I did well Sunday...stayed within my calorie limit.  But, I think I came up a serving or 2 short on water.  My day was CRAZY busy.  But, it was a good day.  God Bless you all ~~ Hilary

Day 149...Saturday, Feb. 6, 2010.  Did pretty well on my eating today.  SF shake for b'fast (200 cal), 1 serving of macaroni & cheese for lunch (250 cal), 1 serving of popcorn for snack (200 cal).  Then, for dinner I had meatloaf, rice/quinoa (150 cal), and steamed carrots/broccoli.  I was proud of myself about the rice b/c I gave the rest of the family homemade mashed potatoes.  Potatoes seem to turn right to fat when I eat them, so I'm glad I was able to resist.  And, I had one chocolate cookie (100 cal.)   I've also been doing very well on my water lately.  That new stainless steel bottle (w/ flip-up straw) I bought has helped me SO much.  I highly recommend getting one.  Mine holds 24 oz.  So, everytime I drink one bottle full, I rack up 3 water servings. 

I'm feeling pretty good about my journey right now.  But, I will say one thing.....I am flipping exhausted.  I think that taking care of 2 sick kids all week has finally taken its toll.  I don't think I'm coming down with their illness, but I just feel run down.  I am going to bed early tonight so I'm not dragging in the morning when it's time to get ready for church.  Hope you are all having a great weekend.  Looking forward to the "Double Dog Dare" challenge weigh-in tomorrow!  God Bless and Good Night ~~ Hilary

Weigh-in #22....Day 148...Friday, February 5, 2010.   Drumroll please.........ONE pound lost this week!!  That puts me back at 200 lbs.  for a total of 40 pounds lost.....FINALLY!!  I cannot even explain how happy I was this morning when I stepped on the scale.  I was SO afraid that I was going to have to get on here and admit defeat.....after PROMISING to lose this week.  I have been fighting those holiday pounds for far too long.  I mean...SERIOUSLY.... I am finally back to what I weighed 7 weeks ago.  Urgh...all the wasted time!  Oh well...can't dwell on that.  What's important is that I am finally moving back in the right direction.  Thank you all SO much for your support when I needed it the most.  I am so blessed to have such dear friends.  I'll write more tomorrow.  God's Blessings on your weekend ~~ Hilary

Day 147...Thursday, February 4, 2010.  Sorry I didn't post yesterday...both my girls are sick now, so I've been a bit busy.  Turns out that it isn't a stomach virus.  They both have Strep throat and Scarlet Fever...pretty pitiful.  My eating is going pretty good.  Hoping for a good weigh-in tomorrow.  I'll try to check back in later.  God Bless ~~ Hilary

Day 145...Tuesday, February 2, 2010.  Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I sat down to do it twice yesterday and was interupted both times.  It was a rough day.  I took my girls (ages 2 & 4) over to my friend's house for a playdate. After being there about an hour, my 2 yr. old started throwing up.  So, I had to bundle them back up and head back home.  We were all disappointed b/c we already had to cancel this playdate last week due to snow.  Anyway, she was pretty pitiful and, of course, got sick in the van on the way home....yuck!   She's not sick to her stomach so far today, but she is still feeling really bad...had 103 temperature when she woke up this morning. She's been laying on the couch or my lap ever since...so, I know she's sick...b/c she is normally a ball of energy.  Just hoping the rest of us don't catch it.  I"ll try to write more later.  God Bless ~~ Hilary