I do appreciate the support and it sounds like we have very similar stories. I hear you about the PCOS, I was diagnosed with it about 6 years ago. When I started talking babies was put on metformin (1000 mg  a day) but it didn't do anything for my weight. I took it for about 8 months. Then I read a book by Jullian Michaels, "Mastering your Metabolism" I decided to go all natural, off the metformin, off the B.C. and started an organic diet, and lo and behold, my first 15 pounds came off, and I have not seen them since. My monthly friend magically kept to schedule, and my mentality was clear; my endocrine system was balanced. But that was a very difficult lifestyle to stick with since I didn't have time to cook every meal, especially between working full time and going back to school.  That's when I started SF. I'm not trying to have a pity party, this is just a slightly deeper chapter in my story.  As for talk of baby, my doc spoke about fertility treatment for me and my husband as well, I'm not sure if I'm mentally ready to go there.  I'm off the B.C. so if I am meant to have a baby within these next few years, I am sure I will be blessed with one. But I'm not to the point where I want to go that route yet. Besides, I have at least 2 more years of school. Maybe things will be different for me then.

Sticking to slimfast has been so easy because I don't have to prep too much. Grab the shakes for breakfast and lunch, a snack bar for my break at class, When I am home, I munch on the healthy stuff i stock in the fridge. When my Husbands home, i have to convince him that we can't go out to eat all the time and that he needs to just learn to like my cooking, poor guy, I am not the best cook, LOL! (That's become a nightly conversation)  I did chuckle about the "normal diets don't work for me" comment because I always joked around about how I gained weight on Weight Watcher! Congrats on your accomplishments, I am sure I will be there with you someday.

As for nutrition, I know brown rice it better than white, and look for whole grain and all that good stuff. I have been doing research for years as well trying to find the formula for success. but with my daily expectations, I'd rather drink a shake with 17 grams of sugar and 180 calories than a package of pop-tarts at school (400 cal + a lot of bad stuff) I still try to eat the whole foods when I can, I have whole wheat pasta and lean meats, and I stay away from sugars all together aside from what's delivered in the shakes and bars.

Phew! This was a lengthy post. I guess I'm a little long winded! I'm so glad we are all here to share with each other. We truly are not alone.

Hey kimmy,

When I read what you said about insulin resistance I wanted to offer you some advice from a gal who has been there. I'm 26 and have always struggled with my weight. In my early teens I lost a ton of weight through basic starvation because "normal" diets didn't work. I couldn't seem to lose any weight unless I was eating less than 700 cals a day. Fast forward a few years and I'm back to eating normally and the weight started to pack on. I wasn't even eating badly....I just ate a normal 2000 cal a day diet and I eventually got up to 300lbs in just a couple of years.

I went to a fertility specialist because my husband and I were having trouble conceiving and he diagnosed me with Polycystic ovarian syndrome and said I had a severe case of insulin resistance. He started me on a medication called Metformin (or Glucophage if you buy brand) and the weight just stared falling off. I've been eating around 1300 cals a day, walking 1\2 mile daily, and taking my Met as prescribed and I have lost 85 pounds in about 5 months.

I also try to follow the insulin resistance diet ( you can research it online). One of the major things it teaches is to eat in such a way that it keeps your insulin levels steady and prevents it from spiking (which is the process that causes your body to store fat so quickly). Every meal you eat needs to contain 3 things: a complex carb (whole grain breads and pasta, brown rice, sweet potato), a lean protein (chicken fish, lean beef) and a HEALTHY fat (olive oil, avocado, low fat cheese, nuts). These 3 components have to be eaten together to maintain steady insulin levels. You should also try to eat 5 smaller meals as opposed to 3, but i don't always have time to do that.

I actually no longer use the slimfast shakes because they are too high in carbs and sugar for a person with insulin resistance, but I ocassionally treat myself with a slimfast bar as a dessert (try to pick with ones with added protein to limit the blood sugar spike). I really like this plan because A) it has worked and B) it is really flexible and allows for a lot of creativity so I haven't gotten bored yet.

I just wanted to offer you this little bit of advice because I know the frustration of losing the same 4 lbs over and over again no matter how hard I worked or what I denied myself. Good luck to you. If you have any other questions feel free to ask me. I've done a crap load of research about insulin resistance and PCOS.

Stay strong Kim...this too shall pass.  Just take it one day at a time and find a mantra that helps you...I have a couple, "this too shall pass" "one day at a time" "I want to live" "nothing changes if nothing changes" "I can do this" etc. These all help me get a little closer to where I want to be each day.  I know you can do this and I know you deserve this...everyone deserves to be healthy and live and long, happy life.  Keep on keeping on!

Blessings, Bridget

the other 4 lbs is probably sodium, I have eating out once or twice over the weekend (don't worry, I research EVERYTHING i eat and from where!), but then my doc says I'm "insulin resistant" which honestly I'm not sure if its just a term doctors throw out to make big people not feel so bad about their weight, kind of shifts the blame. Anywho, I'm not here to spill negativity all over the discussion board, I just needed to get it out.  Time for homework. (yippee! physics!)

Gosh Kim, you are having a crappy day!  But you did lose 4# so you are less than when you started...however, losing & gaining the other 4 is a concern...are you following the menu plan or writing your food intake down so that you are aware of how many calories you are taking in?  I try to follow the calorie intake suggested on the site...and I get lots of ideas/recipes from the site as well.   One thing that makes me gain instantly at least 5# is sodium...I now really watch what I eat...anything prepackaged is high, unless it is frozen veggies, ha!  Have you tried frozen grapes?  They are handy to munch on...even at night. And don't worry 'bout talking to the dog; it is more of a concern if the dog would have talked back! LOL   Now...for getting into the study mode...set yourself up with some tea, an apple and a string cheese stix and get busy...you know you can do this...like you said, you are the strong one.  Keep us posted on how things go...Hugs, SisterC

Don't give up! Keep healthy things around to snack on...eating itself isn't all that evil. It has to be done, but fortunately we have the ability to chose what we do eat. Try keeping apples, carrots, yogurt, jello and such so that if you do get hungry, grab something good to eat.

My tactic so far is to not have anything in my fridge that is bad...right now, I've got my slimfast and some yogurt...that's it. I'll be adding in some apples and maybe grapes this weekend.

Well, It's been a whole month, I lost the first four great, then this last four has gone away, then come back, then gone away, and it is back again. I know weight fluctuates, but this is the start of monotony to me.  The "shiny and new" luster of the diet is fading, and now all I can think of is the Brie cheese in the fridge next to the bottle of wine. I did join a gym in hopes for new motivation, but I am still mentally struggling with my obsession of food. I can't stop thinking about it.  I literally clenched my hands together last night while lying in bed to keep myself from getting up and going to the fridge. I tried to get the dog to fetch me something to eat, but luckily he just stared at me blankly and didn't comply.  The funny thing is I was actually trying to talk my dog into getting me food last night! I have finals this week and was looking forward to the distraction, but its hard to study when food is on the mind. I'm supposed to be the strong one, and I'm just not feeling it right now.